We have to make our unconscious full of light. No nook or corner should be left without light inside you. Only one tenth of our mind is conscious; nine tenths is in darkness, deep darkness. We are like an iceberg: one tenth shows up, nine tenths is hidden underneath -- and that nine tenths is nine times more powerful.
So you may decide something, but you will not be able to follow it; that nine tenths will destroy it any moment. You may decide to get up tomorrow early at five o'clock, but this decision is only by the one tenth of your mind; nine tenths is completely unaware of your decision, absolutely unaware of your decision. So when in the morning the alarm goes, nine tenths of the mind says,"What is the hurry? And it is so beautiful and so cozy and so warm. Tomorrow we can meditate." And of course, the tomorrow never comes. And when you wake up you will feel guilty -- but this is again not the mind that stopped you from waking up which is feeling guilty; that is another one tenth which is feeling guilty. And this goes on your whole life, this hide-and- seek. One part decides, another part cancels. And the part that cancels is nine times more powerful.
You have decided many times not to be angry again, but all your decisions are impotent because that nine times more powerful unconscious is always there and it won't allow the one tenth to take possession, to be powerful. Hence the transformation needs a totally different approach. You have to change your unconscious slowly into consciousness. That's what meditation is all about: it is making your light grow bigger, spreading it deeper, slowly diving deeper into your own being.
As more and more of your unconscious is reclaimed by the consciousness your decisions will start becoming great fulfillments. Real religion -- of the buddhas, the awakened ones -- teaches you consciousness, not character. Character is a by-product; when you are conscious, character comes of its own accord. Ordinary religion teaches you conscience; it is cheap. The buddhas teach you consciousness, not conscience.If you can sit silently doing nothing, the spring is not far away, the spring is bound to come. It always comes in silence,,,. when you know how to delight in your aloneness because only then are you independent.
People are happy with others, but that happiness is dependent; it can be taken away. It will be taken away, it is bound to disappear. It can't be permanent, it is momentary. All happiness that is dependent on others is bound to disappear sooner or later. It is temporary, momentary, it is illusory. Only that joy is yours which wells up within your own being. There are very few people who enjoy their own company.
It is our very nature to be joyous; hence there is no need to depend on anybody else. There is no other motive in it, it is simply there. Just as the water flows downwards, your being rises upwards. Just give it a chance -- give it solitude. And remember again, solitude is not solitariness, just as aloneness is not loneliness
