Pain is a given, but suffering is a choice. Everyone faces obstacles in life. They are part of life. You can choose to be victim or victor, succumb to setbacks or rise above them. Life is like a game. Sometimes you win, at other times you lose. You have to be able to take it in your stride.

If you depend on the constantly changing, unpredictable world you will get crushed by it. Learn to be Self-reliant. The world will bow to you. spiritual development is inversely proportional to your dependence on the world. The more you lean on it, the less you get. The less you need the more you get! Vedanta helps you become independent of the world and enables you to gain more from it. An enlightened master is totally independent, yet has the world at his feet!

There are three states of balance – restless, fragile and steady. The lowest is when you are like a cone on its apex, totally dependent on external factors. The intermediate state is when you are like a cone on its side – calm by yourself but the slightest fluctuation creates long spells of mental agitation. Be like a cone resting on its base. Nothing will topple or overwhelm you. You will be constantly at peace irrespective of what the world offers.

Every challenge is an opportunity to grow. The way out is to build inner reserves. Gain knowledge of your real worth. Fluctuations of the world will no longer traumatise you. They will only amuse and entertain you. Assess people and situations what they are, not what you would like them to be. Then you will not have unrealistic expectations and disappointments. Defer decisions if your mind is clouded. Consult a clear thinker who will throw fresh light on the matter. Get a sense of humour!

The spiritual path does not demand change of lifestyle, wardrobe or location. You do not have to move away from family, friends or career. It only calls for a change of attitude. Move from the mindset of taking, to that of giving. The law is – give, you gain; grab, you lose. Base your life on serving, adding value to others, offering your talent to a larger cause. See the miraculous results it brings.

When you have conflict with the people you Love most you tend to blame them. Look within. It is your selfishness that is the cause. You expect people to dance to your tune; you make demands and impose restrictions on them. This makes them want to break free. Love people for what they are.  Accept them with their faults and idiosyncrasies. Learn to be self-sufficient. You will enjoy their presence and not miss them when they are gone. They will love you dearly.

Objectivity is the secret of enjoyment. You are able to ‘enjoy’ tragedy, even murder, and horror on screen, because you know you are apart from it. Similarly you are an actor on the stage of life. Play your role to the best of your ability, wholeheartedly. Exit when the time comes. You are your Self. You have nothing to do with the roles you play. You seem to have lost your identity. Understand who you are. The world will lose its sting. You will enjoy the roles and retreat into an oasis of Bliss when your part is over.